When I started working with Mozilla as volunteer back in 2003, it never crossed my mind that I will be able to stay that long. 11 years passed and God only knows how many times I thought that I have to quite and disconnect myself from Mozilla world. Of course not because of Mozilla but because of me; There was a voice inside my head always saying “There is nothing left to give and you don’t have time any more, that’s it, stop!”. I tried many times to shutdown this voice and find reasons to stay and keep going.
Last year, when I was invited to Mozilla Summit in Toronto, the voice won, I made up my mind; this summit is going to be the end of my journey with Mozilla, it is going to be a proper goodbye to Mozilla world and it is the time to get back to the user’s seat.
During the summit, I met my mozillians friends that I didn’t meet for long time. I met many talented mozillians that I never met before. I worked with amazing people that made every moment fun. I was telling myself no way that I can leave, I have to stay and give more. My batteries were fully charged and I am full of energy again.
Months passed, the voice inside my head came back again, my schedule became tighter, my study, work and my personal life are making me busy. Each time a Mozillian send me a message or an email asking for help or an opinion, I wanted to say no, sorry I am not doing that anymore; please seek help somewhere else.. I found myself typing on the keyboard, yes you can do this and that. I found myself getting involved more and deeper than before. Each time I wanted to take the ship to escape, Mozilla pull me back as a black hole in the space that doesn’t allow anyone to escape even light. But after these years I discovered the source of energy that kept me that long.
Thanks for the energy that you always gave me to fight the voice inside my head and for giving me the well to stay. You are amazing…
I totally understand now, the moment that I fell in love with your mission, it is the moment that you locked me down. Now I can tell you, I am giving up escaping and running away. I am staying and I surrender all to you!!